Not a good day:(

I´ve had a really shitty day today.

It doesn´t have anything to do with my "situation". Lets just say I´ve been sad and depressed most of the day. I needed someone to talk to, a friend, I reached out and called a couple of mates,

The first call I made was to a close girlfriend of mine, but I could hear from the very start that she wasn´t really in the mood to talk so I didn´t even bother to get in to a conversation. She asked if we could speak another day, normally I wouldn´t have minded but as i felt emotional already she unintentionally made me feel more sad.

The second call I made was to a friend I´ve known for 13 years, and to begin with he listened to me, but halfway into my heartfelt story he cut me off saying dinner was ready and could we speak tomorrow instead, we hung up and now I was REALLY UPSET:(.. Feeling unwanted and dismissed.

Luckily the last third and last call I made to one of my best friends I´ve had since the age of 7 (by then I was in crying), took her time to listen and comfort me, despite having a 3 yearold to look after. She saved me from crashing tonight and I´m so greatful to have her in my life.

I´m a very sensitive person, I also suffer from an IPS and I´have trust issues. I´ve lost many "friends" in the past because Iused to be so intense with my emotions. Later on I learned how to stifle myself and bottle it all in, so now a days I have to go to therapy to undo all this and let my feelings out again, which is very scary because of past experiences. Hence me exploding in anger as I did with my mother in law is an event so rare you´re more likely to win the jackpot in a lottery than ever see me like that. It doesn´t mean I don´t get angry, I´m angry just as often as the avarage person I´m just good at controlling myself after years of practising.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day